If I gave you 20 seconds to name 4 of your dearest, most important personal needs, would you be able to name them? Most people are unable to do so because it’s something that gets overlooked in the hustle and bustle of daily life and responsibilities.
Knowing and understanding your personal needs is essential to finding fulfillment and joy in your life. When you understand your personal needs, life works in your favor. I mean, you will still have tests and changes to make, but it cuts out so much of the guess work.
Many people simply don’t realize or understand that unmet needs can drive them to think, feel, and act in unhealthy ways. Your needs actually do shape and drive many of your actions behind the scenes.
Knowing and recognizing your unique personal needs allows you to be POWERFUL because you hold the key to meeting your needs like security and self-love.
And when another person does come along with the good stuff like emotional availability, stability, security and love, then it’s like the cherry on top of an already mouth-watering sundae, because it adds to what you are already giving yourself. So when you meet your own personal needs you never have to wait for someone else to complete you. By golly that’s fantastic!
This may feel a little foreign to you at first, if you aren’t used to fulfilling your own needs. In childhood we learn how to rely on others to fulfill these needs for us, then adulthood serves as a major reality check when partners, friends or family aren’t readily available to meet our personal needs on a consistent basis (thanks childhood…but not really). This is when we eventually figure out that it’s “all on us” to meet our own darn needs.
So let’s discuss just how to do this here:
Identify Your Needs
When was the last time you stopped and asked yourself, “What is it that I NEED right now?”
A lot of times we become resentful in life from the lack of having our needs met. Unmet needs can lead to hurt, disappointment and depression, but identifying your personal needs can lead to great clarity and breakthroughs in your overall wellbeing.
There are many different types of needs that we have as humans such as physiological needs, safety needs, love needs, connection needs, and self-esteem needs.
You can start to identify your personal needs by making a list of the things that you desire to feel in life. You can also identify your needs by listening to what your body, your mind, and what your heart tells you.
Treat Your Needs With Gentleness And Respect
We’ve all experienced challenges or obstacles to meeting our own personal needs at one time or another. And it can feel very frustrating and even painful when our needs go unmet. That’s why it’s so important to treat yourself and your needs with gentleness and respect.
Being gentle with your needs will require sensitivity and self-support. It’s important for you to understand that meeting your own needs is a delicate process that may take some time to nail down.
Take Healthy Action To Meet Your Needs
Your needs are a necessity and they aren’t going anywhere until they are met. There’s no amount of stuffing or ignoring them that can make them go away, so make your needs a priority.
It’s important to fulfill your personal needs in healthy ways that enhance your life experiences. Notice I said in HEALTHY ways. When you attempt to meet your needs in unhealthy ways like manipulation or addiction then there will always be consequences to answer to.
Meeting your own personal needs doesn’t make you less than special, neglected or unimportant. It makes you SERIOUS about your own happiness.
It’s actually the ultimate self-love in action and it’s self-empowering. Plus, it puts you in the driver seat to more fulfillment in your life. This isn’t to say that you won’t have separate needs in your partnerships, friendships or in your relationships with others, but you will be well prepared to deal with them honestly and not from a place of unmet needs or neediness.
Make your needs a priority!
Identify your most 4 urgent needs with the Healthy Personal Needs Sheet here>> and incorporate meeting those needs (in healthy, positive ways) into your daily regimen.