Our relationships come in many different forms. We’ve got parental relationships for instance, relationships with other family members, romantic relationships, ones with our friends, our co-workers and even brief interactions with strangers that cross our paths each day.
Our relationships can really tell us a lot about ourselves, but it’s ultimately up to us to pay attention to these mirrors that appear before us on a daily basis.
Our connections with others will usually tell us these 5 things:
1. What’s Familiar To Us
2. Who We Need To Become
3. What We Need To Acknowledge
4. How We Are Treating Ourselves
5. What We Are Projecting Into The Universe
What’s Familiar To Us:
As humans, it’s easy to gravitate to those people who feel familiar to us because these are the people who usually behave in ways that are familiar to our upbringing or have personalities that we are use to. Sometimes this can get us in whole heap of trouble when a person’s behaviour or personality is hurtful towards us, yet we still find comfort in the familiarity of those less than loving behaviors. This is one of the reasons why it can be difficult to move past the pattern of attracting hurtful people, painful relationships or painful situations into our lives.
I struggled with this myself after my parents divorced when I was thirteen. After their divorce my father gradually became less and less available both emotionally and physically after he remarried and started a new life. I actually have not seen him in person in over twelve years. I even have a child that he’s yet to meet.
So when I began to date I attracted this same type of behavior in my personal relationships. It usually came in the form of guys who, to me, seemed pretty available at first, but then suddenly became unavailable for many different reasons. Some became unavailable through shut down or withheld emotions, some through physical barriers or distance and some by turning their attention and affection to another person… just as my father had done in all of these ways years earlier. And when I did happen to meet a nice guy here and there, who did not exhibit these disfunctional behaviors that I had grown so accustomed to, I had no earthly idea what to do (other than to run… and run fast)!
Although these negative patterns were ingrained in my being, I had to familiarize myself with something way more healthy. It took lots of changes in me, a whole lotta work and unconditional self-love throughout the years, but I’m here to tell ya people… it works (smiling)!
Who We Need To Become:
Another lesson I have learned from my connections with others is the gift of transformation. Let me say this… transformation is totally and completely different from change. Change is like dying your hair a different color or trying a new detergent out for the first time around. Transformation molds us into something COMPLETELY new.
You see, if you need to become stronger, then you attract interactions with others that give you an opportunity to be strong, stand your ground or build your endurance. If you need to become more compassionate or nurturing, then you attract interactions with others that allow you to be nurturing. And if you need to become more authentic, then you attract interactions with others that either allow or force your true self to surface to the forefront.
What We Need To Acknowledge:
Our relationships with others can also mirror or bring up deep seated traits, issues, behaviors and emotions that we have run from most of our lives. Now this isn’t always pleasant, but it is always necessary. This may come in the form of irritations at the hands of others, tests, trials, breakdowns and even breakups, but there is always a new “you” at the end of this fire just waiting for you to embrace.
How We Are Treating Ourselves:
Our relationships can also be a mirror of how we are treating ourselves. If you are treating yourself in disrespectful ways then you will ultimately attract other people who are disrespectful towards you. If you are treating yourself in unloving ways then you will attract those who withhold love from you. And if you are filled with self-love then you will attract beautiful connections with others, filled with love.
What We Are Projecting Into The Universe:
Relationships can also mirror back to us the energy that we are projecting into the world. For example, if you are upset about something that’s taking a while to heal, process or get over, then eventually you will start to release that energy of fury into the universe. And guess what you get back? Interactions with furious people who mimic your angry energy. Or even worse, people who further enrage you. Oooouch! But if you are putting out joy, gratitude and wholesomeness into the universe then that is exactly what you will experience in others.
We’re all on a journey to become whole as we learn to also become the very best version of ourselves. We’re here to evolve into greatness, so what better or more beautiful way to do that, than to do it through our relationships with one another?
-Many blessingsღto you-